Since just after Christmas, I’ve been dealing with the impending divorce of two of my best friends in the church. They’ve been there since the church started in 1998, and we’ve spent a lot of time together. I think the world of both of them. But things happen in this fallen world. They’re getting a divorce. He’ll stay in the church, she’ll make her way elsewhere. He’ll be okay; he’s surrounded by supportive friends. I’m worried about her.
This is tough stuff. We’ve had other divorces in the church, but not with a prominent couple who have influenced many others in the congregation.
This morning, we announced it to the congregation. People hadn’t yet started whispering, “Is something happening with…?” But it soon would, so we needed to go public. Before the gossip machine started up. He read a statement to the congregation; Pastor Tim worked it into his sermon beautifully. My friend wanted to get this out in the open, so he could stop hedging and making excuses and avoiding situations where it might come up. It was a simple statement, devoid of the understandable anger which I have seen in force. He did well, and I’m proud of him. It was a necessary thing for our congregation to hear.
But what will happen with his ex? I desperately hope, and pray, that sometime in the future she finds herself once again among a loving and accepting group of Christians, able to use her substantial gifts as part of a healthy local church body. But I know I won’t be involved in seeing that happen. I’ll have to entrust her to God, confident that God will find the right place to get her plugged back in. This is a good person. Restoration can happen, and she has experienced far too much of God’s presence in her life to abandon it all. She’ll find her way back, eventually. But much territory needs to be covered before restoration–and healing–can occur. It’s territory that needs to be covered. I’d like to help her walk that journey, but I can’t. I know God will find just the right person, the right group of Christians, the right church. It’ll happen.Leave a comment