The incredible iPotty sells for $39.99 on Amazon, but is currently out-of-stock at Amazon. Apparently, hordes of parents with iPads are also potty training their children (if a friend or coworker has a baby, I suggest you NOT borrow their iPad). The iPotty introduces toddlers to the wonderful world of multitasking–in this case, using the iPad to accomplish productive things while simultaneously learning to…you know. Children can even check Wikipedia for learning tips. Assuming your 18-month-old can read.

Before buying something, I always read the Amazon reviews. Very helpful stuff. But the comments with the iPotty took things to a whole new level, as some folks really had fun with this. Here are some reprinted comments from Amazon.

My kid Tobby is 13, but he has the mind, size, and appearance of a five-year-old so, we bought him the CTA Digital 2-in-1 iPotty because we were tired of sending him outside to do his business every time he started whining and scratching the front door. Now I don’t want to give the impression that my kid is stupid; I mean, he had the ability to learn the whining and door scratching trick from the dog, and unlike the dog he has never gone on the carpet. Okay, I can’t really be sure he hasn’t gone on the carpet because there’s been some presents left behind that contain corn and I don’t think any of our dog food has corn in it, but I digress.

I know we’re supposed to interact with our kid and teach him things, but quite honestly, it’s easier just to put him in front of the TV and let those cartoons do the educating for us. The kid goes into a zone when he’s watching TV and doesn’t say a word for hours, so he’s obviously learning a ton of stuff. When the iPad came out, I was reluctant to fork out all that cash, but once my wife and I realized the educational benefits it could have on our child, we bought it immediately. He has absolutely no idea how to operate the darn thing, but when he’s playing with the iPad it’s like we don’t even have a kid anymore. It’s pretty great. When you think about it, a kid playing with an iPad on the potty is no different than an adult reading a book. Sometimes you just need to take your mind off the task at hand and let things happen naturally. While our boy has yet to be successfully potty trained, we’re confident that — with the help of the iPotty — we’ll have this thing figured out in no time.

I bought this and tried it out to make sure it was suitable for our 11-year-old (he does things at his own pace). The problem — I tried it for too long and operant conditioned myself. Now I can’t relieve myself unless I am playing Angry Birds or watching Netflix. This is awkward at the office and at urinals in general. Also, whenever I am someplace without a wi-fi signal, I become constipated.

I bought this for myself because, let’s face it, I’m a busy lady on the “go” (pun intended!) and I don’t always have time to properly do my business when there is so much internetting to be done. Fortunately, I was blessed with a pretty minuscule frame and some freakish flexibility, so I am able to mount this sucker like a barely-oversized toddler. At first, I found myself only using time-wasting apps like Flow or Fruit Ninja. Then, as my restroom visits lengthened, I realized that we had some serious multi-tasking opportunities here. In the past week, I have edited my NaNoWriMo novel, stalked my ex-boyfriend (whose new wife, by the way, is hideous… but at least she’s tall, right, Rich?!), filled out my passport application – AND PRINTED IT! FROM MY BATHROOM! – and completed an online mobile app development class. And I’ve never been more regular! The only downside I can see is that now, every time I try to use my iPad in a non-water-closeted venue, I experience the sudden and undeniable urge to eliminate waste. It makes my normal bedtime routine pretty uncomfortable, and makes me feel weak for my Pavlovian response. I’m trying to taper off using this, but now a regular toilet just feels so high. There is a reason most of the world squats, people! It’s better for you!

As Communications Director for the United Brethren in Christ denomination, I keep up on what’s being said about us on the web. A Google alert notifies me of any web references to “United Brethren.” This turns up newspaper articles, obituaries, and other relevant stuff.

Lately, I’ve been getting news about the Apostlic United Brethren, a polygamous Mormon group that separated from the Mormon Church back in the 1880s. They’re seeking approval to build a retirement community in Bluffdale, Utah.

We’re regularly confused with other “Brethren” groups (Brethren in Christ, Church of the Brethren, Mennonite Brethren), so I’m wondering if I could apply for a spot in this retirement community, and sneak my application past them by merely identifying myself as “United Brethren.”

It could work. Though Pam might have some thoughts on the matter.

A woman in Alberta, Canada, was out hiking with her boyfriend when a huge grizzly bear suddenly charged at them. Fortunately, she was armed with a 25 calibre Beretta Jetfire pistol. Most people would say a 25 calibre pistol is too small to stop a human attacker, let alone an aggressive grizzly bear. But not in her case.

“Just one shot to my boyfriend’s kneecap was all it took. The bear got him, and I was able to just walk away at a brisk pace.”

(Thank you to Brian, one of my Canadian friends, for sending me this. For those of you who are humor-challenged: no, this isn’t a true story.)

I understand roses being red, but not violets being blue. If they were blue, they would be called blues. I realize it kills the rhyme, but violets are purple.

To maintain our intellectual integrity, we simply need to rewrite the poem. This is difficult, since very few words rhyme with “purple,” but integrity is not something you want to sacrifice for expediency. And so, I offer the following.

Roses are red,
Violets are purple,
Sugar is sweet,
And so is Aunt Myrtle.

Roses are red,
Violets are purple,
Water is cold,
Like the Arctic Circle.

The only ones not worried about the Mayan calendar are the Mayans. In the Yucatan State in Mexico, which still has a large Mayan population, a Mayan cultural festival will be held December 21. They’ve already set the date for their 2013 festival.