College Football Humor

I like rivalry jokes. These ones are crafted around university football programs. For many of them, you can insert the name of whatever college you dislike. Enjoy.

Q: Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
A: So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and pick up trash on Monday.

Q: Why do Oklahoma fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: What does the average Alabama player get on his SATs?
A: Drool.

Q: What do you say to a University of Miami football player dressed in a three-piece suit?
A: “Will the defendant please rise.”

Q: How many Michigan freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. That’s a sophomore course.

Q: If three Florida State football players are in the same car, who is driving?
A: The police officer.

Q: How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
A: There’s tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

Q: What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A: A full set of teeth.

Q: How do you get a former Ohio State football player off your porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.

Q: What are the longest 3 years of a Louisville football player’s life?
A: His freshman year.

Q: How many LSU football players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, but he gets 3 credit hours.

Q: Why was O.J. trying to escape to Indiana?
A: Police would never look for a Heisman Trophy winner there.

Q: Why do Colorado football players like smart women?
A: Opposites attract.

Q: What does the “N” on the helmets for the University of Nebraska stand for?
A: “Nowledge.”

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