Letter Home from a Redneck Soldier

This is good. Real good. Enjoy.

Am well. Hope ya are. Tell brother Walt & Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell em to join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt & Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, they git warm water here. Breakfast is strong on trimmings- like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc…, but kinda weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie, and other regular food. But tell Walt & Elmer you can always sit between two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yoursa hold you till noon, when you get fixings again.

It’s no wonder these city boys cain’t walk much. We go on “route” marches, which the Platoon Sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is not my place to tell him different. A “route march” is about as fer as to our mailbox at back yonder. Then the city guys gets sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The country is nice, but awful flat. The Sergeant is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors & Colonels just ride around an’ frown. They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Walt & Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I dunno know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk an’don’t move – an’ it ain’t shooting back at you, like the Higgett boys at home.

All you got to do is to lay there all comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges – they come in boxes.

Be sure to tell Walt & Elmer to hurry an’ join before other fellers get into this setup an’ come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter, Gail

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