Thirsty for the Trivial

royal-baby

CNN is getting lazy in covering the Royal Baby. After an initial flurry of CNN alerts, we’ve heard nothing of late. CNN should put some of its crack reporters on the case, and send out CNN Alerts as soon as the following bits of information are determined.

  • how often the baby burps.
  • who changes diapers the most.
  • the preferred brand of diaper.
  • the decibel level at which the baby cries.
  • whether the baby has vomited on the Queen Mother and, if so, did her bodyguards immediately tackle and subdue the baby.

Don’t worry about verifying the information (as if that’s important to you anyway). “Unnamed sources” will suffice.

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